Hello there. I am Harrison.
What You Crave vs What You Need
Chocolate: Raw nuts/seeds.
Oily/Fatty Snacks: Kale, leafy greens.
Soda/Carbonated Drinks: Actual, literal bubbles.
Chips/Salty Food: Topsoil.
Cookies: Freudian psychology.
Sweet Tea: A strong Southern gentleman to take care of you.
Pasta/Carbs: Pasta/Carbs.
Ice: The sweet release of death.
sassadilla:

the best condoms money can buy

sassadilla:

the best condoms money can buy

today my mom laughed for 30 minutes about this

image

oboebandgeek99:

heckacute:

If you put a bee in the freezer, it will get cold and fall asleep. After it’s asleep, put it in your mouth, but don’t eat it. Just let it sit there. It will get warm and wake up. Now you have a bee in your mouth.

Why the fuck would I do that

lottiepots:

"anyway, here’s wonderwall"

lottiepots:

"anyway, here’s wonderwall"

mikasaesukasa:

im not in that fandom but i know a golden post when i see one

misscrayfish313:

magicaltypeyoswin:

kingcroacus:

fingers are weird??? like…… our arms just split into other smaller arms…………. ok

image

whAT THE HELL DID YOU DO

Star-Lord, the legendary outlaw…

rneerkat:

*pulls out bread at wedding* i’d like to make a toast

phobs-heh:

khan2kool:

sassafras-manson:

ryanvallejo:

ktkeen96:

theecamerondallas:

i have been waiting for this to show up in my dash forever

ITS BACK

THIS IS MY FAVORITE

IT’S BACK

This has to be up there with the funniest shit ever.

gonna reblog it everytime

toyota:

The iPhone 6 is out!

toyota:

The iPhone 6 is out!